Harry Potter And His Weirdo Of A HalfUncle
by Diarista Silverwing
Summary: DH SPOILERS What if Moony, Paddy, Prongsie, Lily and Nymphadora didn't actually die? we find whether or not they do or don't! not good at summaries
1. The Slumber

**A/N:**** ok this is my first fan fic made for a challenge while making another one for fun… (Reminds me must remember to tell mum about it) she hasn't finished it yet!!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any characters included in this fan fic to think of it none of this story is actually mine since this story is a challenge and nothing is mine… Oh well on we go. I AM JK ROWLING nah not really 

**Summary: ****DH SPOILERS!!! What if Lupin didn't die or neither his parents What if no one died and it was a figment of his imagination hmm… HarryxLupin**

Harry Potter And His Weirdo Of A Half-Uncle 

Watching the world go by in a hail of crying and blubbering and funerals Harry Potter sat there thinking '_why am I still here I should be dead with Moony and paddy and mum and prongsie' _"No, My Dad!!!" he reminded himself quietly. Sitting to the left of him as Fred 'Master Of Pranks' Weasley was laying peacefully in his casket and Remus 'The Wolf' Lupin and Nymphadora 'Nymmy' Tonks in theirs was the rest of the Weasley family and Hermione was with the rest of the congregation looking overly sad watching them going down into there tombs.

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Halfway during the funerals he couldn't feel any sadness even though most of the people being buried were all of his freinds so he stood up and left, most people he passed didn't see or acknowledged him (good, he thought to himself, now Voldemort is out of the way we can all get back to normal.) walking towards the castle embroiled in his own thoughts and thought about going up to gryffindor castle where lupin had died but decided he didn't have the will power to climb all the stairs nore the control to not be aggrivated by the moving stairs. turning slightly, he did something not only he was surprised at aswell as his wand. Lifting his wand, not really knowing what he was doing, shouted out the words "EXPECTO PATRONUM". He watched in amazement as a silver stag, dog, wolf, chameleon and a dove erupted from his wand and ran (well ran, galloped, flew, wallran whatever they did) out of the door and as Harry followed watching them taking there places at the headstones.

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He noticed that no one had risen from there seats when the animals had taken there places, when suddenly the ground shook and Harry was thrown to the floor as everyone else wasn't unduly bothered but started looking at him when he started crying in pain,

"AHHHHH MY SCAR ITS GOING TO RIP APART NOOOOOOO!!!!!" He screamed running to the tombs and looking in the marble headstone of Lupin and Tonks' grave and said the words which would change everything forever….

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**A/N: ****HEHE I love this next chap up probably in a couple of days or so coz I'm working (I know I was surprised to I'm only 13) and I will probably be tired. also very sorry for the shortness will add more when it comes up more.**

**Anyone who wants to review welcome I promise I will introduce cookies into the stories since most of the stories contain them.**

**Bye for now!!!**

**Thisa was a re-do so next chap up probably tonight GMT**


	2. Resurrect Meus Amicitas

A/N: Thanks to all those that reviewed much appreciated and I two small challenges for anyone who reads this… first person to find the surreptitious mentions of cookies in there and to find how many times I put witch in there.

Summary: Harry says those magical words and nothing happens so or as far as Harry is aware (wolf LOL) until right at the end…

**Resurrect Meus Amicita**

**A/N: before I start I would like to say this one thing I forgot to bring the notes home from work on Thursday so it will be ready today fatal mistake I know but hey LIVE WITH IT.**

**The Words were tumbling out of him before he even knew what was going on but the voice wasn't Harry's… the voice had come deep down inside of his inner magic (1) and the words made no sense to him but went something like this ****RESURRET MEUS AMICTAS!**** As if by magic (obviously) the names of his friends witch (he he) had the patronuses above them sank into the ground and the patronuses disappeared into the ground and a massive rip smashed into the ground and a black hooded figure came out of the tear… well started to come out then got stuck half way through and said "erm… could some one help me out please?"**

**Harry came out of his stupor and pulled him through the crack "thank you Harry Potter, now to business" he said gratefully. To witch Harry replied "What business?"**

"**Go with me here ok?" He said very hurt "ok, here goes DARE YOU WAKE THE DEAD??" he boomed, "Do you think that was ok? He inquired after.**

**Harry was the only remaining person calm at the sight of death and replied "judging at everyone screaming like maniacs then it was definitely ok and to answer your question before yes I do".**

**At this new revalation Death was dumbfounded, he had not come across such calm like this and stuttered "yes well erm… ooh do I smell doughy chocolaty biscuits fresh off the stoves mmm……… BYE" and with a poof (actually with more of bang than a poof I just wanted him to look a bit gay in front of everyone) he was gone and closed up the rip in the earth and planted flowers and other nice fluffy things there.**

"**Well that was eventful" he managed to smile to himself and joined the rest of the people going inside of the school and wondered to himself what that was all about.**

**The Hallows, Deathville **

**Lupin, Nymphadora, James, Lily, Sirius all went into shock as the ground shook and deposited them all at Godrics hollow leaving them all dumbfounded why they were here in the first place, AND with there wands, _this is too strange_ they thought to themselves. James was the first to speak up "come on then lets go inside the house and get some drink inside of us" he said, and they all trudged into Godrics hollow unaware that they had walked into the house that had actually been inherited by James' and Lily's son and wife.**

**Hogwarts, Scotland**

**Harry felt as if someone had walked over his grave when his mum and dad and best friends and mentors had walked into his house but decided to ignore it and started to talk to Nymphadora's mother Andromeda about Teddy.**

**"So, what's happening to Teddy now, I mean if you want to keep him until you pass away it will be fine with me so long as I can see him every once in a while" he asked a slightly mortified Andromeda who replied trying to maintain her composure "Yes, Harry I think it would be for the best if I took him until I finally die in peace so he knew who his mother and grandmother were" she finally gained enough composure to then say "then he will go to you and will learn about his father and godfather and uncles and all sorts of extended family"**

**"Ok Mrs.Tonks I will" he said before turning to leave "oh, Harry please call me Andromeda" "ok Andromeda we will do that". Then turning to leave he then let his tears fall freely witch were dying to get out when that conversation was going on. Taking his leave of the after-funeral he went outside of the anti-dissapparation field and went home.**

A/N: Hi guys did everyone get the cookies mention and did people see how many times i used witch in the story Review please or i won't put chapter 3 up.


	3. Nothing, but nothing

**A/N:**** I am writing this on Sunday and I am shocked to see no-one has reviewed so I am very angry at this, so from now on I will be issuing chapter questions at the end so you get educated and I get reviews:D anyways heres the next chapter.**

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**Chapter 3:Nothing, But Nothing**

**Godrics Hollow, Cellar, Worctershire**

**James and the gang heard people outside and ran down into the cellar wondering who it could be very confused James stuck his head around the door and looked straight at...**

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**Godrics Hollow, Worctershire**

**Harry waas sure he saw something** **but when he came to look he saw no-one** **there so he went down into the cellar and looked around fortunatley he saw no-one and was sure it was a trick of the light but it nagged at him for ages because he was sure it was connecgted with the un-nerving feeling in him earlier.**

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**Seyshells**

**Harry was on his well deserved honeymoon with his best friend and lover Ronald when an owl came for him and left as soon as he had taken the letter from it, it read:**

**_Dear Harry,_**

**_If you are reading this i am dead. I hope you take good care of my Teddy and never let him do anything (much) wrong and keep him on the straight and narrow. I hope you are well and better than i am doing at the moment._**

**_Love,_**

**_Andromeda Bezundheit Tonks_**

**After Harry had read this he felt like he had lost Tonks all over again, now the only connection he had to his Friends was there son. Ron was oblivious to this like always so wasn't too bothered about it when Harry started crying. After a while he did start getting concerned and decided to confront his husbandand ask him what was wrong.**

**"Andromeda's dead and its know up to us to look after Teddy" he sobbed. Ron thought that they could cut the vacation short to go back home and Harry agreed.**

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**Godrics Hollow, Worctershire**

**Meanwhile, James and Co. were taking advantage of the absense of the house owner they through many parties for themselvesand then they heard the doorbell. They packed everything away and dragged Sirius into the Cellar to wait for the people to come in.**

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**Godrics hollow, Worctershire**

**After the escapade at the funerals nothing much happened other than Harry and Ron getting married and Andromeda, Teddy's grandma) had fallen off a cliff and couldn't stop herself from falling as she had given her magic to her grandson as a birthday present, quite ironic relly when you think about it, and had been left in his Godfathers care and his husbands Harry had Remembered it like it was yesterday.**

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**Flashback**

**"Hey Harry, I'll make it up to you about the fish later on" Ron said doefully. They had just come back from there honeymoon in the seyshells and were both looking tanned when a figure stepped out from the shadows with a trunk and a very vivid blue hair saying "What about the fish Uncle Ron?" said the boy. He was of course Teddy Remus Lupin who was toned, wearing a loose shirt, light blue denim jeans, trainers and blue eyes. Harry and Ron were both shocked to hear and see him yet Harry always knew it would come to this and so didn't join his husband on the floor unconscious.**

**"Hi Teddy come in and drop your trunk then help me bring Ron in because someone will ask questions sooner or later come on" So Teddy and his new adoptive Father/s went in to discuss why he was herewith them.**

**End Flashback**

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**It was know June 1997 and Teddy was getting ready for his first day of school and was so exited about it his hair was such a vibrant blue it was surprising were three Bangs in quick succesion**

**BANG door closes**

**BANG Teddy bounces on the bed**

**BANG Ron fell on the floor**

**At this sudden turn Harry woke up and was instantly blinded by the glare of VERY vivid Blue hair and instantly took his wand out and started firing hexes off at randomuntil his godson shouted "DAD, ITS ME!!!". Harry instantly stopped and said "Sorry, could you tone it down a bit as well" **

**Teddy said sorry and toned it down to electric blue so his father could recover. He thought how long it had taken him to let them calling him dad and wondering why they didn't let him at first then a few years later after constant annoying he finally go to call them dad and was in the middle of a campaign to get them calling him son. He left to let them get ready and started counting down _5...4...3...2...1...0_**

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"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THATS MINGING TEDDY REMUS LUPIN I AM SO GROUNDING YOU NOW!!!!" and Harry and Ron came running out with Teddy watching them from his secret hiding place grinning manically.**

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**A/N: So that was the third chapter question is:**

**What colour was Teddy's hair?**

**please review**

**love,**

**Ridiculus**


	4. Diagon Alley

**A/N:**** Hi guys, I'm at ma grans so this is totally new to me so hey no-one really knows whats going to come out of this but ah well.**

**Summary:**** The three go to Diagon Alley and meet a very special person.**

**Chapter 3: Diagon Alley**

**They Floo-ed to Diagon Alley with Harry still muttering about punishments and groundings.**

"**Sorry dad, couldn't resist" he said apologetically.**

**Harry didn't seem to notice that Teddy was talking to him so Ron stepped in saying**

"**Don't worry about your father I'll deal with him later on. All you have to worry about is getting your school stuff and being popular with Florence Fortescue so you get free ice-creams"**

**At the mention of ice-cream Harry came out of his stupor and hit Ron round the back of the head (Ow that hurt) and started scolding Teddy about throwing dung bombs in and around the home. He neglected to mention about throwing them in school which Ron was grateful for.**

**They went into the bank to get some money out of the Potter vault.**

**A/N:**** Mainly because the blue-haired blue-eyed toned quid ditch player and athlete that Teddy was is in fact a Potter OOHH A PLOT HOLE SCARY don't fall in it ok coz it is massive.**

**After going to the bank they went into Ollivanders and as soon as they went in Ollivander came sliding in on his ladder saying "Ah, Teddy Potter I have been expecting you"**

"**He did the same thing to me when I came for my wand" muttered Harry to Ron giving him a quick peck on the cheek. The wand maker noticed this and abruptly stopped finding wands and said**

"**This is a wand shop not a BLOODY KISSING CENTRE MY GOD"**

"**Who was kissing in here earlier, Sir?" Inquired Harry.**

"**Two girls Harry…" (Hermione and Ginny) "…and call me John you're an adult now you don't have to call me sir now" John Ollivander Replied.**

**A/N:**** Ok, not the best of names I know but what ya gonna do about it huh?**

"**Ok, John lets get little Teddy here a wand"**

"**Ah, here is one Oak, Dragon heartstring and a Phoenix feather unusual combination, twelve inches, good for transfiguration, give it a flex"**

**He waved the wand and wands came bursting out of the shelves.**

"**No, Ok then Beech, 13 ¼ inches, unicorn hair and skrewt leg, Excellent for charms, go on wave it"**

**As Teddy waved it and the room lit up and everyone clapped and cheered. Then left.**

**They paid for the wand and left for Flourish and Blotts. They went in and everything went quiet and eyes followed them to the counter where they brought **_**the Standard Book Of Spells Grade 1, Arming the Disarmed, Spells for Charms, Potions: A first years guide **_**and some other books for reading. They went outside and Ron asked,**

"**Whats there problem?"**

"**Its me and Teddy ok, I saved the wizarding world and get gawped at, Teddy is a metamorphmagus and gets gawped at too" Harry explained.**

"**Dad, can I have a pet please?" Teddy asked.**

"**Sure son, Owl?"**

"**Yes Please daddy and I need to get my robes now"**

**They went into Madame Malkins Robes for All Occasions and got him some school robes. When they came out they turned round and pushed Teddy behind them saying "Death Eater"**

**They went up to the cloaked person and asked,**

"**Who is it?"**

"**Remus 'Moony, Remmy, Oi you, guardian' John Lupin marauder and uncle of Harry James Potter of Godrics Hollow, Worcestershire.", The cloaked person answered back, "Thank you for asking Harry James Potter, my NEPHEW"**

**A/N: ****5...4...3...2...1...0**

**THUD!**

**A/N:**** Tell me what you thought**


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